David Mathews
Suspension
I have been suspended. The shame of it. I’ve never been suspended before, not being a footballer, nurse, GP, socially awkward school...
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David Mathews
- Aug 28, 2018
- 4 min
Egregious Growth Theory: Fox-Mogg Plans Revealed
Sir Arthur* is back from the South of France. A little sea bathing, walks in the hills of Provence and some photographs and theatre in...
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David Mathews
- Aug 25, 2018
- 1 min
The Xenophobes Marching Hymn
They even hum a version of it in the Home Office, so I’m told by my ever-reliable contact Blame the Germans, blame the French, Blame the...
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David Mathews
- Aug 6, 2018
- 2 min
Fork Handles
‘You used to be a researcher, didn’t you, Dave?’ Sidney had come round at the end of last week to settle our bet from Christmas re the...
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David Mathews
- Jul 22, 2018
- 1 min
About these short war-time stories
The 100 stories in the Imperial War Museums' series commemorating the end of the First World War are in a new form, a centena: 100 words...
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David Mathews
- Jul 20, 2018
- 2 min
War-time stories, 100 years on
Interesting folk, photographers, when you can pin them down. You look at old family photos, and pick out your father’s Auntie Nellie and...
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David Mathews
- Jul 15, 2018
- 2 min
Cave man Johnson?
My chum Arthur (Sir Arthur Whatnot) is mightily upset. I'll tell you in a minute what's tipped him over the edge, but being the chap he...
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David Mathews
- Mar 14, 2018
- 2 min
The Whatnot Opening
Arthur phoned, Sir Arthur Whatnot, to tell me that he is thinking of retiring from psychiatry. ‘But what will you do, Arthur, apart from...
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David Mathews
- Mar 13, 2018
- 1 min
Scone shocker
I warned you, didn’t I, in my scone stories, how deep the feelings ran in this vicious cream-on-first/jam-on-first argument? Now National...
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Pippa Gladhill
- Feb 1, 2018
- 3 min
Hold Onto Your Giant, Yellow, Fuzzy Tennis Ball
Do you fancy being cloned? Last week – on 25th January – news broke that scientists in China have cloned two monkeys, bringing the...
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David Mathews
- Jan 23, 2018
- 1 min
Lots in Space
The oceans are full of plastic. And the same in space? Well, not yet, but there's a load of rubbish up there, and one day soon we will...
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David Mathews
- Jan 7, 2018
- 3 min
Pacific here we come
‘What’s happening to the world, Dave?’ I had popped round to wish my good friend Sidney a belated Happy New Year. I hadn’t seen him since...
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David Mathews
- Dec 18, 2017
- 2 min
Sir Arthur's Christmas Caseload
My friend, psychiatrist Sir Arthur Whatnot, had taken rather too much Madeira last night, and was being indiscreet. (You may remember...
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David Mathews
- Dec 8, 2017
- 5 min
At the end of the day, it’s all about dusk
My story, Flick'ring Shadows, is part of this year's Solstice Shorts festival. Some subjects for stories are riper than others. I haven’t...
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David Mathews
- Dec 2, 2017
- 1 min
Dusk: short and sweet at the winter solstice in Nottingham
The kind people at Nottingham Writers’ Studio have chosen to read my Flick’ring Shadows among a set of short stories and poems...
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David Mathews
- Dec 1, 2017
- 2 min
Broken down by age and sex on St Andrew’s Day
From the train, seven minutes late, alighted 19 passengers. Twelve women, seven men, all shapes and sizes. I will not describe them one...
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David Mathews
- Nov 12, 2017
- 2 min
Nooo, Jeremy Corbyn
My friend Sir Arthur Whatnot, the psychiatrist, read Jeremy Corbyn’s piece in this morning’s Observer, in which Corbyn called for Mrs May...
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David Mathews
- Oct 31, 2017
- 3 min
Mrs May’s Halloween Horror
Just had a call from my mate Sidney. Sid is a diamond, not easily rattled. He’s not what you’d call a choirboy – wide as the Sargasso...
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David Mathews
- Oct 2, 2017
- 1 min
Help!
One day to go, so come on you lot, we writers at Arachne need a bit of help to get DUSK going, a wave of stories and poetry across the UK...
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David Mathews
- Sep 28, 2017
- 1 min
Thoughts on a treat for National Poetry Day
I need a rhyme for chocolate, But my best so far is cloudlet, Which, as I’m trying to work it into a convincing verse, without...
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